The Man That Never Existed

Six years ago THIS man walked into my life. Sweet, kind, caring, and loved my kids. Gentle and loving, he accepted me exactly who I was. Opened doors for me, wrote love poems, left sweet cards, brought me flowers. What more could a woman ask for?

He got down on one knee with Devin, Ryane and Grace all standing around watching and asked me to marry him. I did. We moved into a modest three bedroom house and began our life together, ready for happily ever after.

Since I have known him, everyone has tripped over themselves to do for him and to be his friend and they tell me what a good person he is. He makes it hard not to like him. He is funny, charismatic, outgoing. Such a likeable person. I truly loved THIS man.

One day I woke up to find THAT man was gone. The one that had replaced him was vile, mean and ugly inside. Gone were the cards, flowers and poems. Only to be replaced by put downs, curse words and idle threats of departure.

Where once we lay in bed wrapped in each other's arms, I lay in bed wrapped in blankets wondering what time he would be home that night.

Where once we sat at the dinner table as a family and talked about our day, I found myself sitting at the dinner table staring at his empty chair, answering the inevitable question "Where is daddy?"

Where once we sat on the couch till 3 am just talking about our lives, I found myself sitting on the couch at 3 am wondering where he was.

Where once we played as a family, I found myself making up excuses why daddy couldn't play with us that day.

This is the man that I woke up to that dreadful day. I awoke to the fact that the other man NEVER really existed. You hear a million times in your life that you never really know a person until you live with them. That phrase has never meant more to me than it does right now.

When I weep, I weep for what could have been. I weep for my children, I weep for love. I weep for the man that I fell in love with. I do not weep for this man.

What a sad day when you realize that the person you love with all of your heart is not a person at all. He is just a facade to cover up the real person lurking deep within.