The Sensitive One

I am trying to pack stuff without packing stuff, if that makes any sense. So yesterday I decided to take Tucker's crib down. Number 1, he doesnt sleep in it anymore. Number 2, I can consign it to help with bills, Number 3 it's just in the way. So, I just decided to take it down. Mistake??? I didn't tell him ahead of time. He walked into the room and got this absolute look of despair on his face. All he could say was "HEY!" "Hey!" "hey!" Then he stood there real still and his bottom lip touched the ground. His eyes welled with tears. One lone little fist went up to his eye and stayed there without moving. I looked at him and said and softly as possible "Come here baby" He wouldn't. He just stood there and silently wept over his bed being gone.

When I finally convinced him to come sit on my lap I explained to him that the crib was for a baby. I asked him if he was a big boy and he said "Huh" (which means yes). I asked him if he was a baby and he said "no". So I said "So do you need that crib?"

He said yes.

A few of my favorite words...

(M)Kuck____Tucker

(M)Thnax____Snacks

(M)Buboon____Balloon

(M)Thnow____Snow

(T)GaCa____Micah

(T)Wa-WAh____Gramma

(T)Doo-Doo_____Scooby Doo

(T)Bee-Boi____Big Boy

(T)Paaee____Potty

Aspirations

Can you guess which one wants to be a GIANT robot when he grows up and which one just wants his papees?

Papees...Where are You?

Ok, it has been a week since Tucker even saw his papees and he still asks for it...EVERY DAY!!! How long must I suffer this agony???

Confession of the Day

I told a woman that she had beautiful lips.

NEVER TURN AROUND...

So once again Ryane and I are alone together on a Friday night. We eat dinner then head to wal-mart. Tra-la-la we go through Walmart with no issues other than not being able to find the soup that I need for my roast. BAH! Gotta make trip to Kroger. Off to Kroger we go. Ryane laughs when we go in because we actually don't need a cart (never happens).

We get in the door and I remember that I needed baby carrots for my roast as well. Tra-la-la. I get the baby carrots and proceed to go the soup. I'm sure I looked silly because I was carrying the carrots by the end of the bag...like a pansy...well...the bag was wet...I was cold...I didn't wanna get my hand wet ok? Just let me tell the story! GeeZ!!!

So, off we go to the soup. In our pathway stands a woman with a cart and a man with a bad buzzcut. They are just standing there talking and he is posted up on the end cap so I assume they are married or dating. It's one of those moments that goes so quickly that you aren't sure that it really happened. The woman's back is to me so I can't see her face but the man is facing me so I politely smiled as I walked by. He smiled back...but never stopped looking at me...He had this odd look of the big bad wolf on is face. It just happened so fast that I looked back to see if his "wife" was going to come after me. THAT RIGHT THERE WAS MY MISTAKE.

She had a look of "Oh he must know her" He had a look of "Oh I'm gonna *know* her. I just turned down the soup aisle to get my soup. Ryane is chatting away and I am looking for the soup. I spotted it but my hands were full so I tapped the can with the toe of my shoe (which are really cute red heals by the way). Ryane says "how many cans?" just as I set my foot down on the floor and look up to see Buzzcut coming straight at us. I turn look at her and say "ONE" as I walk away from good ole Buzz. She starts laughing and walking beside me because she realizes Buzzcut is coming our way. She mumbling something about did you say "one" or "run"? Ha Ha.

We get to the end of the aisle and make a left at which point I pick up the pace. Ryane by this time is giggling and talking about our "Kroger Stalker". I turn two aisles over and get to the checkout as fast as I can. She is in front of me in line and looks up and I could tell by the look on her face that Buzz was standing right behind me. She looks at me and I ^wink^ and say "Oh we forgot something over there...let's go get it. So we grab our stuff and walk over to the healthfood section at which point Ryane asks me if we needed pancake mix (word to Pamela's). I reply "No. I just wanted to get away from him" So we stand staring at the pancake mix giving Buzzboy enough time to get checked out. When I think it is safe to come out of hiding, we slowly emerge around the corner only to find Buzz looking through a markdown cart over at the healthfood section. Eek!

We skitter into a lane as fast as possible and the sweet little kroger checkout boy says "Do you have your Kroger card ma'am?" To which I reply "Yes...lets get this done as fast as possible" "Yes Ma'am" He says "I can do that" So I am trying so hard not to look back but at the same time I really don't wanna turn and bump into Buzz on my way out. So I am kinda doin the head down lookin over my shoulder thing and a woman gets in line behind me just before Buzz can. So he heads to the next lane. By this time, checkout boy has me rung up and I am trying to pay as I look up under my eyebrows making sure of Buzz's exact location. Poor checkout boy is trying to figure out what is going on so I just look at him and say "I have a stalker" in a low voice. Checkout boy turns around and looks straight at him..you know like any good sly person would. Ugh! We finish and I realize that Buzz has someone ahead of him in line...time to make a break for it!

We get out the first set of doors and Ryane is slightly ahead of me. I know that I've gotta book it so I reach down for my shoe...ya know...the pretty red heels? Almost fall over trying to get it off. Only because the tippie-toe trot across the parking lot was not going to give me enough time before he was checked out and behind us again. So, I successfully get my shoes off by the time we hit the second doors.

AND THEIR OFF!!!! I took off like a bat outta...Oh...I mean I ran really fast. Ryane is behind me laughing the whole way! Huh! How ya like that? Laughing. So we jump in the car and pull out of the lot and make our safe getaway.

Man! All I wanted was a stupid can of soup. I just never should have turned around.

Tucker's Best Friend

All four of my kids have taken a pacifier, or papees as it is fondly called by Tucker. At the tender age of 18 months, I have taken it away from 3 of the 4 kids. 18 months came and went with Tucker.

They say that each child is different and to a certain extent that fact is very true. While all 3 of my other kids just let it go without question, Tucker is not wanting to let his go. He has faithfully sucked on his papees since a newborn. While other toddlers have walked around with a papees just sitting in their mouth, Tucker has actually sucked on his religiously.

My first 3 kids took MAM pacifiers, you know the kind with the cute pictures? Tucker started out using those as well but at 6 months we changed to GERBER Natural Latch due to breastfeeding issues. I never thought he would accept a change of pacifiers at that age but sure enough, latched right on and never looked back. Well the time has come to say goodbye and he is none to happy about it.

In reality it should have gone before now but in light of all the changes that our family as gone through in the past year, I didn't rush it. I had the doctor fussing at me everytime we went into her office but like I told her, I didn't want to add anything to his little world being turned upside down. That and I just couldn't bear to be the one to take away his prized possession in the middle of all of it.

My poor kids do not have a chance when it comes to their teeth, especially my boys. Between my small mouth (no comments from the peanut gallery) and their dad's small mouth, there is just not going to be room for all of the teeth that they will get. So upon examining Tuck's mouth I noticed not only does he have a cross bite, but he also has an open bite (which means the front teeth do not close) I know it is from the pacifier. So, it is time to make that dreaded change.

He last had his papees Sunday night at bedtime. Now I knew going in that this would not be an easy transition but geez!!! this is ridiculous. All day long he is fine and doesn't say anything about it but come bed or nap time...oh man! That is all he can think about until he falls asleep. And let me tell you, this little guy can hold his own when it comes to staying awake at nap time. He cries and screams and pouts and begs. It's quite pitiful honestly. It actually makes me feel like I am doing something wrong to him. I truly do want to give it back to him.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't want a five year old walking around with a papees hanging out of his mouth. I just feel like the most evil mother on earth for taking away his best friend. Sob, sob. He still has his blanket(s) which he loves dearly but they are just not the same as his papees.

It's for your own good baby, I promise. Don't hate me forever please. So to PAPEES we bid a sad and pitiful farewell. Goodbye papees, you will be missed.

Oh and just so it is said, I am in mourning over this along with Tucker. This is the end the baby chapter in my life. He will be 2 next month and we are potty training too. He is not a baby anymore. I have no more babies in my life.

Look out clay! Here comes your aunt sissy...

The Heath Family

While the United States of America celebrates the inauguration of Obama, the Heath family mourns the loss of their daughter, Angie Heath, 18 years old. Killed in a car accident on her way to work at 10am this morning. My prayers are with the Heath family today.

On Being A Single Mom

On being a single mother again. Yes, it is very hard. No, it is not what I ever wanted to do. However, it is what God has for me in my life right now, so I accept it. To be quite honest with you, I have been a single mother far before my husband left the house in August and I know that he would agree with that statement. I came to terms with that a long time ago.

I have done it basically for almost thirteen years now. I honestly wouldn't really know how to be in a house that mutually shared parenting the children. Perhaps I am here in this place because I am a control freak. Perhaps not. Either way, I am here and it is hard. So hats off to you single parents out there! I feel your pain.

Now that cudos have been handed out to all who deserve them...if you are a single parent, don't whine and complain about it. Enjoy it. I KNOW IT HARD, so you don't have to yell at me! I am doing it too. I sit here at my computer and look around and see the great little gifts that my children leave in my path...toys and cups and cars and cheese (yes I said cheese) diapers and little socks. You name it and it can be found on my floor and any given moment.

I just knocked Tuck's cup over with my foot and I couldn't help but smile. It was completely under my chair. In other words he had to lay on his belly and crawl under my chair to put it there. I look at my kids while they are sleeping (yes I still look at my older kids while they are sleeping. I wonder where the time has gone) and I just love them so much. I cannot imagine my life without my kids in it. I love my life. My kids, my church, and God (not necessarily in that order) are my life.

You adults out there that have chosen to live without children, for one reason or another. You will never know the joy that you are keeping yourself from having. I would not be a complete person without having been a mother. You out there who are "satisfied" in your childless life, you don't know true satisfaction. You may enjoy your life and I am not knocking that at all. I am just saying that there is so much more to love about a family. Is it harder? Yes, by all means but is it worth it? Worth more than all the riches money can buy you.

My family blows in the door wherever we go. We are loud and scrambly and chaotic but we are a family. We fight and pick and cry but we are a family. We also love and hug and snuggle. We also are there for each other whenever we need it, and sometimes when we don't. We are a family.

We were at a social gathering and I was trying to get all of my children food and seated and sit down to eat myself, and an older couple sitting across the table from me said "Oh. This too shall pass" and I hear a lot of "Oh, I remember those days" and it's all meant so extremely negative.

I got news for anyone who is listening and all of those who are not...I love my family. I love my kids. I love the work that I have to put into them. It IS hard, very hard, and there are days that I just want to hide under my bed where my kids cannot find me. But I wouldn't give them up for anything in this world. They are my flesh and blood. I carried them in my womb, I gave natural birth to them, I nursed them from my body. They are me. And I appreciate and love each and every one of them.

I adore bein a mom, and yes being a single mom too.

Gluten...again

Ok, so this one is not about Tucker and gluten, it's about me and Ryane and gluten. All of the other kids went to their dad's house tonight so Ryane and I went out and ate dinner. Just the two of us so we went and ate chinese food. Yum! While there I cheated a little and ate what I knew contained gluten. Funny how I have been off of gluten for several months now and have thought seriously about eating something that I want but haven't really let myself. Well, tonight I let myself.

I needed to go to walmart so from the restaurant we crossed the street and went to wally-world. By the time we got into walmart, my stomach was so bloated that I looked pregnant, very pregnant. I was wearing low-rise jeans at that so it stuck out all the more because there was nothing holding it in!

Since I went gluten free I have not had that miserable, I ate soooo much I'm gonna die feeling...till tonight. I swear to you I have not felt that miserable after a meal in years. It was like we were walking in slow motion and with every step, my stomach got bigger and bigger until I thought it was gonna POP! The funny thing was that Ryane noticed the difference a glutenous meal made for her as well. What a bonding moment, haha. Mother and daughter walking around walmart...together, bloated...together, miserable...together, laughing at each others stomach...together. Ahh, special times...yeah special times.

Well Gluten, you had your way with me tonight but I am changing the locks on my door and you are kicked out of my life...again.

Technically he is superman but he looks more like Super Spongebob to me.

This story has absolutely nothing to do with the picture but I thought the picture was cute.

Micah has a pair of spiderman boxers (actually has them on under his spongebob pajamas). Anyway it was really cold one morning and he was wearing his spiderman boxers under a pair of footed pjs. He needed to go pee but it was too cold for him to pull down his footed pjs so I showed him the little pocket/opening on his spiderman boxers and told him that he didn't have to pull down his pjs. He could do a magic trick.

He thought that was the coolest thing ever that he could pee with all of his clothes still on. So now whenever he is wearing his spiderman boxers he doesn't get undressed at all. He does his magic trick. (Actually he came out of the bathroom still doing his magic trick and proceeded to tell me that he did his magic trick today...I had to tell him to put it away...men!)

Do you know Pinnochio?

LIE: An untrue statement

Have you ever met someone who told you a lie? I have, we all have. Have you ever met someone who just flat out lies for no reason? I have. Have you ever met someone who simply CANNOT tell the truth? I have. Have you ever met someone who, if their life depended on the truth, would die with one more lie but lies anyway? I have. Have you ever met someone who lies SO much that they believe their own lies? I have. Have you ever met someone who would lie to their own mother? I have. Have you ever met someone who would lie about their own children? I have.

COMPULSION: irresistible impulse

Have you ever just been so drawn to something that you could not resist it? No matter how bad for you it was? I have.

COMPULSIVE LIAR: A person who has an irresistible impulse to lie. A person who cannot or simply chooses not to tell the truth.

Have you ever met one of these people? You may not even know if you have. Some are that good at what they do. I know one who is. And guess what?

I SICK AND TIRED OF A LIFE FULL OF LIES!!!!!! I don't trust this liar at all. I don't believe ANYTHING that comes out of this liars mouth.

Oh the BIBLE has a LOT to say about LIARS. God hates a liar and liars will be punished...those are two of my favorites.

The lies don't ever stop. I've got a secret...

You wanna hear it?...

Are you ready?...

Satan is the FATHER of LIES.

Are you a LIAR? Are you a COMPULSIVE LIAR??

WHO'S YOUR DADDY????

I'm Tired

I am so tired of going to Taylor Regional Hospital! If it's not one child, it's another. We made another trip to the hospital tonight. As I was sitting and waiting (which seems to be all we do at the hospital) I started wondering how many trips I have actually made there in the past six months. Eight! Eight trips to the hospital!

1. Micah with ear infection
2. Ryane with sprained ankle
3. Micah for tubes
4. Me for heart (if you don't know me well enough don't panic...happens sometimes)
5. Grace hit head
6. Micah stitches
7. Ryane for personal reasons
8. I'll remember this one when I get in bed, but it was eight.

See? We are making the hospital a lot of money, but we are not getting much in return. I am just tired of going to the hospital!!! Kelly,? I KNOW that you KNOW exactly what I am talking about! My kids are ferociously rambuncious but only 2 of these trips were because of an actual injury due to that fact. I wonder if there is a record for trips to the hospital?....

Jekll, a mystery

Ok so this is just a random blog that is of absolutely no interest to you but I found it very interesting.

Jekyll, pictured here, is one of our two female cats. She and her sister Baby Girl are 7-8 months old. Both beautiful cats in their own right. Both different as night and day. Baby Girl is laid back and lazy. Jekyll is her supreme opposite. She is wild and all over the house all day long.

This particular blog is about Jekyll and her dislike of lavender. Yes you read right. I have a cat that dislikes the smell of lavender. How do I know this you ask? Well, let me tell you how I have come to this conclusion...

It started a couple of months ago. I cleaned out the cat's litter box one day and scrubbed it really good with Mr. Clean. It had a lavender scent, which was quite lovely (the cleanser not the cat box) Anyway, I started finding cat pee on the floor and in the baskets of clean jeans. I was a little confused but would clean it up and fuss at the cat. Now this started happening on a regular basis. Our cats had fleas really bad at the time so I assumed that it was because she was itching and very unhappy. So, I started getting frustrated when it continued to get worse. I thought maybe the cat box was too small so I purchased a new larger cat box. It worked! She started using the larger cat box and was very happy and didn't use the floor or the laundry anymore.

Several days later Ryane went to put on a pair of jeans that had been in the laundry basket in the living room (yeah yeah I'm bad about laundry sitting). She says "Mom, why is the leg of my jeans wet?" I said "I don't know, smell it. Is is cat pee?" "EeeW! Gross! It is!" She replies. Now I can't figure out why Jekyll peed on the jeans. So I am just sitting thinking and it dawns on me! I use Lavender scented fabric softener liquid and sheets.

Now you might wonder why she would pee in the jeans and not the rest of my laundry. Well, I wondered that too but got to thinking, I also use oxyclean in every load of laundry BUT the jeans. So the jeans ALWAYS smell stronger than the other loads of laundry. So there you have it. I have a psycho cat who hates the smell of lavender and is not afraid to let me know it.

Moral? Fold and put away the jeans.

Ryane's New Boyfriend

Meet Chris W. He is Ryane's boyfriend. He is very sweet and very quiet. The giraffe in his hand was a gift from Ryane. He bought her a little plaque. Sweet little gifts, mind you they have only been a couple for 24 hours. Sweet none the less.

Curse you Gluten

At 11:30 last night my darling almost 2 year old starts whimpering in his sleep. I go to his room and console him, he goes back to sleep, thus I go back to bed. Only 5 minutes later he's doing it again. So, go, console, sleep, bed. Only 5 minutes later he's doing it again. So, go, console, sleep, bed, again. Only guess what? 5 minutes later HE'S DOING IT AGAIN. Stupid me thinks he is having a bad dream. It takes about 8 or 9 trips to his bed before the light switch actually goes on. "Hello McFly! This is what we did for months on end before we went gluten free!"

So this trip to his bed, he goes back to my bed with me. Cry, sob, weep then I ask HIM how HE is doing. Haha. First thought "Call Timmie! She can tell me something." Do you know what she told me? Bumpkus! (Sorry Tims) I was wanting her to wave her majic wand and she didn't. Bah!

Next option, wake up Ryane. "Ryane!" "Huh? What? Zzzz." (mind you it's after midnight now) "RYANE!" "What?" "What did Tucker eat today when you two were here?" (like knowing was gonna change anything) "Uh, I don't know. A bite of my oatmeal and some chips" Once again Bah!

So, back to bed we go. Only there was no sleeping. We tossed and turned. Stood up and laid down. Laid off the bed, laid on the bed. Used the pillow as a bed, used the bed as a bed, used mommy as a bed. Cried, dozed (never for more than 2 minutes at a time) cried some more. I saw EVERY possible number on that clock last night. Oh the horror.

What do you do when your poor innocent little baby is writhing in agony and you can do NOTHING and I really mean NOTHING about it? I talked to him, cuddled him, prayed over him, cried over him, rubbed his back, rubbed him tummy. I would have stood on my head if I thought that would do any good. But alas. Nothing worked but time.

Finally at 5 am he dozed off one last time, so did I. Then at 5:09 I awoke to the sound of my alarm going off (which had been going off for 4 minutes by then.) Time to get up it called. Time to take care of the other ailing child. So out of bed I drug myself and took Micah to get tubes put in his ears. And that was all before 6 am.

All I can say is BAH!

Mirror Mirror on the wall, I am my mother after all.

Just want everyone to know that it is official, I am OLD. Ryane had to show me how to edit my pictures on facebook. I sat in this stupid seat for over and hour trying to figure it out and she walked in and laughed at me, clicked one little thing, then called me blonde!!!

All I wanted to do was get a picture rotated. Still can't figure it out to post it here. I swear it's the cd it on. It has to be because the other disk let me do whatever I wanted.

I hate technology!