On Being A Single Mom

On being a single mother again. Yes, it is very hard. No, it is not what I ever wanted to do. However, it is what God has for me in my life right now, so I accept it. To be quite honest with you, I have been a single mother far before my husband left the house in August and I know that he would agree with that statement. I came to terms with that a long time ago.

I have done it basically for almost thirteen years now. I honestly wouldn't really know how to be in a house that mutually shared parenting the children. Perhaps I am here in this place because I am a control freak. Perhaps not. Either way, I am here and it is hard. So hats off to you single parents out there! I feel your pain.

Now that cudos have been handed out to all who deserve them...if you are a single parent, don't whine and complain about it. Enjoy it. I KNOW IT HARD, so you don't have to yell at me! I am doing it too. I sit here at my computer and look around and see the great little gifts that my children leave in my path...toys and cups and cars and cheese (yes I said cheese) diapers and little socks. You name it and it can be found on my floor and any given moment.

I just knocked Tuck's cup over with my foot and I couldn't help but smile. It was completely under my chair. In other words he had to lay on his belly and crawl under my chair to put it there. I look at my kids while they are sleeping (yes I still look at my older kids while they are sleeping. I wonder where the time has gone) and I just love them so much. I cannot imagine my life without my kids in it. I love my life. My kids, my church, and God (not necessarily in that order) are my life.

You adults out there that have chosen to live without children, for one reason or another. You will never know the joy that you are keeping yourself from having. I would not be a complete person without having been a mother. You out there who are "satisfied" in your childless life, you don't know true satisfaction. You may enjoy your life and I am not knocking that at all. I am just saying that there is so much more to love about a family. Is it harder? Yes, by all means but is it worth it? Worth more than all the riches money can buy you.

My family blows in the door wherever we go. We are loud and scrambly and chaotic but we are a family. We fight and pick and cry but we are a family. We also love and hug and snuggle. We also are there for each other whenever we need it, and sometimes when we don't. We are a family.

We were at a social gathering and I was trying to get all of my children food and seated and sit down to eat myself, and an older couple sitting across the table from me said "Oh. This too shall pass" and I hear a lot of "Oh, I remember those days" and it's all meant so extremely negative.

I got news for anyone who is listening and all of those who are not...I love my family. I love my kids. I love the work that I have to put into them. It IS hard, very hard, and there are days that I just want to hide under my bed where my kids cannot find me. But I wouldn't give them up for anything in this world. They are my flesh and blood. I carried them in my womb, I gave natural birth to them, I nursed them from my body. They are me. And I appreciate and love each and every one of them.

I adore bein a mom, and yes being a single mom too.