NEVER TURN AROUND...

So once again Ryane and I are alone together on a Friday night. We eat dinner then head to wal-mart. Tra-la-la we go through Walmart with no issues other than not being able to find the soup that I need for my roast. BAH! Gotta make trip to Kroger. Off to Kroger we go. Ryane laughs when we go in because we actually don't need a cart (never happens).

We get in the door and I remember that I needed baby carrots for my roast as well. Tra-la-la. I get the baby carrots and proceed to go the soup. I'm sure I looked silly because I was carrying the carrots by the end of the bag...like a pansy...well...the bag was wet...I was cold...I didn't wanna get my hand wet ok? Just let me tell the story! GeeZ!!!

So, off we go to the soup. In our pathway stands a woman with a cart and a man with a bad buzzcut. They are just standing there talking and he is posted up on the end cap so I assume they are married or dating. It's one of those moments that goes so quickly that you aren't sure that it really happened. The woman's back is to me so I can't see her face but the man is facing me so I politely smiled as I walked by. He smiled back...but never stopped looking at me...He had this odd look of the big bad wolf on is face. It just happened so fast that I looked back to see if his "wife" was going to come after me. THAT RIGHT THERE WAS MY MISTAKE.

She had a look of "Oh he must know her" He had a look of "Oh I'm gonna *know* her. I just turned down the soup aisle to get my soup. Ryane is chatting away and I am looking for the soup. I spotted it but my hands were full so I tapped the can with the toe of my shoe (which are really cute red heals by the way). Ryane says "how many cans?" just as I set my foot down on the floor and look up to see Buzzcut coming straight at us. I turn look at her and say "ONE" as I walk away from good ole Buzz. She starts laughing and walking beside me because she realizes Buzzcut is coming our way. She mumbling something about did you say "one" or "run"? Ha Ha.

We get to the end of the aisle and make a left at which point I pick up the pace. Ryane by this time is giggling and talking about our "Kroger Stalker". I turn two aisles over and get to the checkout as fast as I can. She is in front of me in line and looks up and I could tell by the look on her face that Buzz was standing right behind me. She looks at me and I ^wink^ and say "Oh we forgot something over there...let's go get it. So we grab our stuff and walk over to the healthfood section at which point Ryane asks me if we needed pancake mix (word to Pamela's). I reply "No. I just wanted to get away from him" So we stand staring at the pancake mix giving Buzzboy enough time to get checked out. When I think it is safe to come out of hiding, we slowly emerge around the corner only to find Buzz looking through a markdown cart over at the healthfood section. Eek!

We skitter into a lane as fast as possible and the sweet little kroger checkout boy says "Do you have your Kroger card ma'am?" To which I reply "Yes...lets get this done as fast as possible" "Yes Ma'am" He says "I can do that" So I am trying so hard not to look back but at the same time I really don't wanna turn and bump into Buzz on my way out. So I am kinda doin the head down lookin over my shoulder thing and a woman gets in line behind me just before Buzz can. So he heads to the next lane. By this time, checkout boy has me rung up and I am trying to pay as I look up under my eyebrows making sure of Buzz's exact location. Poor checkout boy is trying to figure out what is going on so I just look at him and say "I have a stalker" in a low voice. Checkout boy turns around and looks straight at him..you know like any good sly person would. Ugh! We finish and I realize that Buzz has someone ahead of him in line...time to make a break for it!

We get out the first set of doors and Ryane is slightly ahead of me. I know that I've gotta book it so I reach down for my shoe...ya know...the pretty red heels? Almost fall over trying to get it off. Only because the tippie-toe trot across the parking lot was not going to give me enough time before he was checked out and behind us again. So, I successfully get my shoes off by the time we hit the second doors.

AND THEIR OFF!!!! I took off like a bat outta...Oh...I mean I ran really fast. Ryane is behind me laughing the whole way! Huh! How ya like that? Laughing. So we jump in the car and pull out of the lot and make our safe getaway.

Man! All I wanted was a stupid can of soup. I just never should have turned around.