So I am just bein nosey and flipping through random blogs, some interesting others not so much. I pause and read through one here or there but I have come across a lot of blogs that are family related. You know, lots of pictures of the family. Mom and dad. Husband and wife. Parents and kids.
To be quite honest with you, one of the first things I think when I see a picture of a husband and wife is "Is he faithfull?" I know that sounds really bad but it is the truth. I literally stare at the picture and wonder how she can trust him. COMPLETE STRANGERS!!! There is something wrong with me.
Going through all that I have gone through over the past um, well, all of my life with men has really left a lasting impression with me. Sad to say, I see it doing the same with my girls, but that is a blog for another day.
I don't want to feel this way about men. Honestly I don't. I just don't know that I could ever trust a man. I mean REALLY trust him. I am constantly putting myself in another womans shoes, which is not a bad idea ladies! For instance, I am cleaning a house right now and I have a friend that stops in from time to time. Some days he stays a while, others he doesn't. Well, I had to stop and think "how would I feel if my husband were doing this?" I spoke to his wife about the situation and she assured me that she trusted both of us and was ok with it. I was glad to hear that.
Another for instance, there is this guy at walmart , who is overly nice to me if you catch the drift. He always smiles and asks me if I need some help, I know its his job but there is doing his job nice and I think your hot nice. This is the I think your hot nice. Well, one day I see him in walmart fairly close to a lady, walking and talking. It just seemed like they were a couple. SO, what do I do? Put myself in her shoes. What if he is with her and being overly nice to me? Can't go down that path! So now I try to dodge him when I see him. I don't know him from Adam and he may be just as single and the next person but I cant shake the what ifs.
I was literally told by another man that if I didn't "play the game" (of taking another womans man) that I would end up alone. I just can't do that. I guess if that means I will be alone, then I will be alone. God will be my husband.
All in all, I don't trust men. At all. Now who's fault is it? I honestly can't blame any one person. But what I can say is that the men in my life have certainly not helped me trust anymore. They have pushed me to not trust even harder by their actions.
What happened to the REAL men? Are there any out there? I really have my doubts...sorry to any of you REAL men who may be out there and reading this. I just don't trust men and don't know if I ever can.
2 comments:
I can understand why you feel this way. Right now, you just focus on trusting God & don't worry about whether or not you'll be able to trust men in the future. God's will is going to be accomplished in your life and if He chooses for you to be married then he will provide the right and trustworthy guy at the right time. Right now, just focus on trusting Him, though, and what He's doing in your life. There will be a time in the future when the trust issues will be addressed and healed, but for right now just focus on God. That's my two cents, sister!
Being able to trust my husband is the best feeling ever! When we got together trust was one of the best things about our relationship he told me! You will find someone, trust me!
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